rough night

most nights are better than others…but I still have some rough nights.

it will be 5 years this fall.
I still struggle.

flashback to November 2006.
I was attending my first semester at San Diego State University in San Diego, CA.
I had 3 roommates.
roommate 1 and I shared a room, while roommates 2 and 3 shared a room.

on this particular night, roommate 1 was out of town for some family reasons.
roommates 2 and 3 were out with their friends doing what almost every college student does on any night of the week…having fun!

I was the only one home.
I decided to turn in for the night.
locked the front door and went to my room, but something told me to lock my bedroom door also. so I did.

0200am rolls around.
I’m fast asleep. still home alone.
I hear voices. rustling of personal belongings being gone through.
first thought. roommates 2 and 3 are home for a quick stop, brought some guys friends back.

I wait.
listen for familiar voices.
then I hear the people try to get into my room.
I call out, “yeah?”
footsteps bolting out the front door.

I am terrified.
this can’t be happening.
I come from Wyoming.
I’m living in “on campus, gated apartments.”
I thought we were suppose to be “safe.”

I get up and open my door.
look around the apartment.
notice nothing major missing.

I investigate into roommates 2 and 3’s room.
I notice a computer missing.
I notice a purse contents dumped on the bed.

I immediately call the campus police.
”I’m pretty sure someone just broke into my apartment.”

they respond quickly. thank God.
men, football sized men, running from the police.
men, football sized men, being tazed.

I call Mom, hysterical.
”I’M COMING HOME!”

the police catch 5 men, football sized men.
our apartment isn’t the only one they broke into.
they had been let into the locked, gated apartment complex by someone else coming or going at the same time.
they have stolen a bunch of others belongings including roommates 2 and 3 belongings.

I finished out my only semester at SDSU and came home to Wyo in December 2006.

I have struggled being home alone ever since.

Hubby is on nights currently for his job.

I have been doing really well, but some nights I just have overwhelming anxiety and barely get any sleep, sleep with every light on in the house.

Having Twogwotee makes me feel a little more secure, although I’m sure she would lick anyone to death, but she does sound pretty mean when she does bark out back.

Last night was just one of those nights.
I woke up feeling like I didn’t get any sleep. I felt like I tossed and turned. I woke up numerous times soaked in sweat. I slept with the hall light on. If Hubby’s at work, I sleep with the front and back porch light on.
We sleep with a handgun on the night stand.

I pity the person that ever does really break into my house if I’m the only one home.

hopefully tonight is a little better.
I just wanted to sleep well last night.
I had 6 miles to run today.
I managed to pound them out in 56:08. 9:20 minute/mile.
I know I will be taking a nap later today.

I’ve got to get showered and cozy-ed up on the couch. my boys in black and red (SDSU boys basketball) made the big time today. they play BYU on CBS in about an hour and half! yippee.